James Viggo have been two weeks in a private nursery here in Dubai. It seemed like a good idea, to start to build his social skills and also an opportunity for the tired pregnant mum to get some rest. But its been much harder than I expected and bit of a roller coaster trip to be honest. For. Both. Of. Us. I don’t know if I’m weird but worst of all is, that he smell of other woman’s perfume when I pick him up… have you ever noticed that at your baby after nursery??
My best advice so far: Do not start your child in nursery while your pregnant, hormones and nursery is not good combination…!!
I honestly thought this would be very easy because JV is very easy-going, don’t mind strangers, use to play with other babies, never cries and just overall a very happy baby. But apparently all this is more a fact when mummy is next around! They have been really lovely and helpful in the nursery and couldn’t ask for more on that side, but I realize that either 10 months is a difficult age to start-up because of the separation fear or maybe its our mistake that he is not more used to being babysat by others…
So on the first day we came happy and excited at 8 am but a loud noise from another baby scared him just when we entered and I could soon see that he didn’t want to leave my arms. I of course stayed with him but seeing him sad made me cry too… maybe because I’m not use to see him sad. I know it’s not good that I cried too but again I must blame the hormones… Already after one hour it was nap time but of course no chance that he would sleep there. I tried to put him to sleep myself but even at home it can sometimes be a fight so nevertheless in a new place with more noise. Because he didn’t get the nap he normally would, he got more and more tired and even when the snack wasn’t appealing to him I knew it was time leave. Maybe not good choice by me to start just before nap time but I didn’t know any better. It was a hard day and I was heartbroken when we left 😥
Second day I stayed with him for a few hours and it went much better but still a bit on and off sad. I also learned now that our little cutie is not so happy to sit down for a long time, while they had language and music class… I can’t blame him, he just wanted to crawl! It went well almost most of the time so I was a bit more relaxed and feeling cheerful.
Next day both JV and I felt brave and he stayed for two hours – on his own!! I didn’t relax much but according to the nice teachers it went well the first hour and they called me to assure he was happy and playing with his new friends. After this a bit on and off… Same the day after…
Wednesday we took the big jump and he stayed almost the full day. The nursery called me every half an hour to update me – what a service. So I took the luxury and went to the hairdresser! Lovely!! It went fine after all and we will do same again from now on. But it’s still not easy to leave and his still not happy all day long… I don’t know theres so many different recommendations about what to do. Maybe it is too early to leave him? But I think we just need to do this now so he get the feeling of a full day which is 8am to 1pm…
So in short; its going better but still learning. Both of us ❤
Wish us good luck xxx
I didn’t read anything about leaving my baby in nursery before upstart – probably a mistake – so here’s some advice I found on how to say start nursery:
To ensure the goodbye is as painless as possible (for baby and you), Beverley (manager of Head Start Nursery and Preschool, Lewisham) recommends the following tips:
“Children usually cry because you are leaving and not because they are unhappy about being at nursery,” explains Beverley. “In the majority of cases, once the ‘goodbye’ part is over, a child will quickly settle into an activity or cuddle with a member of staff.”
1. “Choose a nursery that offers parents a lengthy settling-in period so your child can build up a connection and relationship with their key carer in the security of your presence before you leave them.”
2. “If your baby is having trouble settling in, arrive early and factor in time to comfort and reassure them before you leave. Stay and play with them, help them to settle with their key worker, even have breakfast with them – but keep this separate to the ‘goodbye’ itself.”
3. “Make the actual ‘goodbye’ quick, firm and reassuring with no long drawn out returns for “just one more kiss or cuddle from mum”. Once you have said goodbye – you really need to leave.”
4. “Always say goodbye and reiterate that you will see them later. Be specific in a way that your child will understand – for example, after lunch, after tea, after story time – then leave.”
5. “Never just sneak out because you think your child is playing happily and is distracted and you don’t want to upset them. To the child, to suddenly look up and mummy is no longer there, feels like abandonment.”
6. “Children need the reassurance of a familiar, consistent, goodbye routine – whether that be a kiss, waving through the window or taking them to play in the block area. This signal will help them to cope with the transition from being in mum’s care to being in nursery care.”
The routine of saying goodbye and reassuring them that mum or dad will return is essential when supporting a child to settle into an unfamiliar environment.”