I asked Maja, one of my best friends, for some advice from a mother to a mother-to-be… We met back in 1995 when we worked at McDonalds! We were the youngest but probably the most crazy party girls working there. Living in Dubai we don’t see each other so much but I know she is always there for me – and she has given her daughter Emma some great sleeping habits which we want to copy!! She is due with her second baby daughter a few weeks after me! 😉
The photos above are small memories from the days long before Maja and I even thought about kids, family-life and had no desire to have a boyfriend – it was all about fun and party! The first photo is from New Years Eve 2001 in Aarhus and being from a smaller town we were very excited to go out in Denmarks second largest city. Think we went to the floating nightclub called Broen! Yes – lots of white eye shadow 🙂 The other photo is (only!) about 9 years old and from a bar in Copenhagen where I worked for a few years and was the place to go on weekends. I guess white eye shadow and bleached blonde hair was STILL on fashion in 2005 😉
SO back to the her mummy advice – here you go:
1) I have always been known for being a structured person, a person who has everything in order and never forgets anything! In the beginning having a baby turns your world upside down! Suddenly there is a third person who is completely depending on you and needs you 24/7. My boyfriend and I had our first challenge when we had an appointment at the hospital – the day after the birth. The appointment was at 10am and we only had a 10 minutes drive. We decieded to leave our home at 09:30… We came 10 minutes late AND forgot the bag with diapers and other nursury stuff in!! I think we were both annoyed at eachother because we are never late, as in NEVER and we both see ourselves as perfectionists! What I want to say with this is, accept that things are different and you don’t have to be perfect all the time. It will take some time to figure out how the day will be – but at some stage you will “get back on track” 😉
2) My second advice is more practical… As long as your child needs to be breastfed in the night it will be YOU who is woken up and has a lack of sleep. Let your husband sleep so he will be rested in the morning and ready to go to work. During the day, sleep when your baby sleeps, and when your husband comes home from work let him take over the baby duties. This way he will have energy to spend some time with the baby instead of being a zombie at work and being to tired to spend some time with you and the baby when he comes home. (DID TOM ASK YOU TO WRITE THIS ONE??? 🙂 )
3) The 3rd advice is about not forgetting eachother as a couple… A good sleeping routine leaves time for you and your husband in the evening. Start as quick as possible to have routines for the evenings. Teach your baby to fall asleep in his own bed by himself. It might take some time but be patient – it will be worth it!! When you feel ready to let him be taken care of by a nanny – DO it! It doesn’t have to be for several hours but go out, have some dinner together, go see a movie or anything for a change of scene, just remember it’s okay to have some time together without the baby – and talk about something else other than your baby 😉 I know it’s difficult… And you will probably think, “what if the nanny doesn’t hear him cry, what if she can’t comfort him and what if, what if…” She CAN, she might not do it exactly the way YOU would have done it, but I promise he will be just fine. For us it took way too long to let our daughter be in someone else’s care, I assume it’s easier with number 2!!
Having children is a blessing and brings you so much love and happiness. All parents want to give their children a good childhood, no matter what the outcome will be, just do everything with love – then I’m sure everything will turn out the right way…
Thank You Maja, I will try to follow your advice!
Ask me again in a couple of months… 🙂